Through The Anthropologie Looking Glass

What kind of Anthro-fuckerie is this?

Wait. What?

*Presses hand to forehead*

*Sighs*

I just can't with this, Anthropologie. I mean, my god, your store is just a short walk from my house. I spend too much there when the weather is nice. But it is a love-hate relationship. Sure, I can find pieces that work for me on occasion. But on the whole, the shirts and sweaters run too short for a tall girl. You have too many flouncy and A-line skirts that really don't do anything for a tall girl with an hour-glass figure. (More pencil skirts please.) And yes, every once in a while something fits and oh yes, yes, I buy it. I admit it. I even pay full price.

*Gasp*

So in a way, I had this split-personality sweater coming to me. I feel it might be punishment for wearing a one-sleeved dress the other day. As though I crossed into some nebulous world of cockamamy clothing karma and wtfuckerie from whence I will never return. A Neverland, a Wonderland of sartorial madness.

I think I need a cookie. Or a hug. In a metaphorical hug kind-of-way. I'm from a northern clime and we don't touch each other for god's sake.

Craptastically idiotic, even from the back.

Animal Sacrifice Chic.

I've been trying to come up with a new theme for my home decor. I found this coffee table in the Anthropologie catalog and it really spoke to me.

Yes, those are stone dogs under glass.

Look into their eyes. They will eff you up. That dog is clearly communicating, "Don't even think about putting your cup on this table without a coaster."

Then I saw this side table and it seemed a little spare. It needed something beyond twine handles.

Yes. This. White ceramic animals. A Deer-Goat-Hare orgy can lend drama to an invisible table.

Once I discovered the animal orgy theme, I knew I needed to bring it into the bedroom. I thought this horse head would look nice on my husband's side of the bed. He loves The Godfather.

Admittedly, this chair is not from Anthropologie but I think it really ties the whole look together. Nothing says commitment to a design aesthetic like animal sacrifice.

Baa.

Quit Effing With Me, Anthropologie.

Anthropologie, "New Arrivals."

I just couldn't be alone with this.